Herr Doktor ist in!..

DR. EVIL
In a little while, you’ll find out
that the Kreplachistani warhead has
gone missing. Well, it’s in safe
hands. If you want it back, you’ll
have to pay me…ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

The UN representatives are confused. Number Two COUGHS.

DR. EVIL
(frustrated)
Sorry. ONE-HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS!

The representatives ARGUE amongst themselves.

UNITED NATIONS SECRETARY
Gentlemen, silence!
(to Dr. Evil)

NOW, MR. EVIL…

DR. EVIL
(angry)
Doctor Evil! I didn’t spend six
years in evil medical school to be
called ‘mister’.

UNITED NATIONS SECRETARY
Excuse me. Dr. Evil, it is the policy
of the United Nations not to negotiate
with terrorists.

DR. EVIL
Fine, have it your way. Gentlemen,
you have five days to come up with
one

hundred billion dollars. If you fail to do so, we’ll set
off the warhead and destroy the world.

UNITED NATIONS SECRETARY
You can’t destroy the world with a
single warhead.

DR. EVIL
Really? So long.

The screen goes BLANK.

DR. EVIL
(to evil associates)
Gentlemen, in exactly five days from
now, we will be one-hundred billion
dollars richer.
(laughing)
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
(slightly louder)
Ha-ha-ha-ha.

EVIL ASSOCIATES
(laughing with him)
Ha-ha-ha-ha.

DR. EVIL & ASSOCIATES

(LOUDER AND MORE STACCATO)

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

(louder again, and even more evil and maniacal)

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

(PAUSE)
Ohhhh, ahhhhhh…
(pause, quieter)
Ohhh, hmmmm.
(pause, very quiet)
hmn.

There is an uncomfortable pause, because clearly we should
have FADED TO BLACK. The evil associates look around the
room, not knowing what to do with themselves.

DR. EVIL
Okay…Well…I think I’m going to
watch some TV.

EVIL ASSOCIATES
Okay. Sure.

They exit the frame awkwardly.